Dating straight women

Being true to myself means not allowing who I date to define me. Well, I haven’t quite figured it all out yet, but I’ll let you all know when I do.

Kristen Rogers is a graduate student studying clinical mental health counseling, and the author of a book of poetry, Kristen’s Diary.

The very idea of the awkward questions that people would ask after coming out was enough to convince me to continue play-acting straight.

Hiding behind a mask of heterosexuality was my way of prioritizing that everyone around me feel comfortable.

Even then, I was embarrassed to kiss her or hold her hand in public.

I didn’t want anyone to perceive me as gay because I had grown to be ashamed of my needs.

I, too, used to believe that I would be straight as long as I ‘dated straight’.

Dating straight individuals used to feel like safety, but now it feels like wearing my queerness in disguise. I’m now surrounded by queer folks of color who embrace my identity as I learn to embrace it, too.

They affirm that my identity matters, and that bisexuality is real, despite what others may say.

I was introduced to her friends as “my friend” (if I was introduced at all).

Her family only knew me as her “roommate” (who always attended family events).

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